3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
