Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
