I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
