I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
