On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
