I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
COCAINE IS GR8
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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