you're like a bully in the Christmas story
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.