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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I could have mohawked her pubes.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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• (510): View more from California

  speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex

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• (916): View more from California

  He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.

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