Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

(573): View more from Missouri

You can't be serious.

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(417): You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right? (573): You can't be serious. http://tfl.nu/cmch

Replies (58) Good night (3458) Bad night (836)
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(256): View more from Alabama

he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.

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(256): he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/xdnw

Replies (60) Good night (824) Bad night (4198)
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(408): View more from California

They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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(408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp

Replies (21) Good night (8175) Bad night (1506)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.

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(318): No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair. http://tfl.nu/ztjm

Replies (10) Good night (1534) Bad night (3921)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?

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(513): Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today? http://tfl.nu/r6wg

Replies (7) Good night (3130) Bad night (1232)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...

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(404): He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight... http://tfl.nu/5hx6

Replies (33) Good night (1387) Bad night (5222)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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(781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1

Replies (28) Good night (2272) Bad night (830)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"

(774): View more from Massachusetts

It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"

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(774): If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?" (774): It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?" http://tfl.nu/cbil

Replies (8) Good night (2726) Bad night (843)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week

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(919): Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week http://tfl.nu/ejf9

Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (961)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

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(228): Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me. http://tfl.nu/qpkp

Replies (1) Good night (825) Bad night (1030)
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(574): View more from Indiana

he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog

(1-574): View more from Indiana

knight in shining armor

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(574): he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog (1-574): knight in shining armor http://tfl.nu/bdyw

Replies (1) Good night (1107) Bad night (576)
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(818): View more from California

I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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(818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa

Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (364)
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(330): View more from Ohio

i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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(330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80

Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (581)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant

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(270): Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/aglv

Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (466)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.

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(814): Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in. http://tfl.nu/ywt7

Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (539)

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