I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.