Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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  (954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now http://tfl.nu/39yk
  Replies (82) Good night (26928) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms

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  (502): I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms http://tfl.nu/f928
  Replies (30) Good night (555) Bad night (7355)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.

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  (205): just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate. http://tfl.nu/3189
  Replies (26) Good night (1074) Bad night (7758)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.

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  (702): You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever. http://tfl.nu/mih5
  Replies (13) Good night (5201) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?

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  (203): What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face? http://tfl.nu/dot3
  Replies (57) Good night (4134) Bad night (1683)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i would one night stand the shit outta him

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  (443): i would one night stand the shit outta him http://tfl.nu/aljg
  Replies (11) Good night (5615) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.

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  (520): Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries. http://tfl.nu/00in
  Replies (6) Good night (2655) Bad night (881)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.

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  (205): I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter. http://tfl.nu/mhcf
  Replies (24) Good night (4212) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.

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  (310): I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship. http://tfl.nu/r05o
  Replies (7) Good night (1769) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt

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  (716): He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt http://tfl.nu/5cou
  Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.

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  (636): Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy. http://tfl.nu/5193
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?

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  (774): What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/2yid
  Replies (9) Good night (351) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!

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  (562): Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?! http://tfl.nu/ufe7
  Replies (6) Good night (335) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...

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  (562): Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell... http://tfl.nu/1xl3
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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  (937): Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills. http://tfl.nu/u4sm
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (262)

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