If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert