he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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