We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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