I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
