And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
