Umm I'm too high to move.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize