I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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