I wish my penis had an off switch
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
