i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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