i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
