It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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