lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
