Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
