New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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