I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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