I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize