i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
