NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
