nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They have beer where we have blood.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
