Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
