Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
