This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.