If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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