question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
my poor anus
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
