Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
