So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
