My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
