i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
