Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
