White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
