There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
