The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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