Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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