I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
