$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
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i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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