You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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