Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize