Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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