his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
