And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Is Oprah even human
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
