some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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