Your mouth is God's brothel.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
