the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
