are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
