smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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