I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize