I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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