I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
