I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
too bad you live with your parents still
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
