Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
