I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
