My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
