I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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