there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
