So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
