i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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