Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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