There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
