I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
