That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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