I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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