between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
