so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
