god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
