I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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