i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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