She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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