ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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