So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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