Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
