I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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