so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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