Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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